1.The first paragraph introduce the paper's topic and the writers approach but not so much a general conclusion. The first sentences is an attention-getting and i do think is relevant to the question.
2. Thesis statement- Is Alice unconscious behavior could be a representation of displacement and rationalization, a defense mechanism.A way to improve the introduction is to go more in detail about what i would like to talk about about and explain it a tiny more.
3.Structure:Yes, I can identify the main idea in each paragraph but i think looking at all together i would have to change how the paragraphs could possibly connect. The ideas explored in the paper are generally displacement and rationalization. There is revelant point on each paragraph that it is not convered others paragraphs but i need to go more in dept.Some of the things iam missing is evidence on displacement.
4. yes, there is mistakes such as in paragraph 2 the sents that begins with"Unlike rationalization..."The tone of the essay is formal.
5.As of now my resorces are the psychology book and wikipedia and they are cleearly stated across the paper.
6. The strength of the paper is the evidence and the connections that are made across it.
1. yes we do agree in that the introduction is relevant to the paragraph. One of her advice was to introduce the thesis before and i do agree with her.
ReplyDelete2. We agree that the thesis may follow to much the structure given in class so rewording can work little by little.
3. Another thing we agree that the paragraphs do express the concept fully but I should probably change the orders my paragraphs are in for it to flow easily and be able to connect them in a orderly manner.
4.Interesting, we agreed again and that there are grammatical errors.
5. Yes,she agreed with me that across my paper i have quotes from the text but i still have to look into more evidence.
6. We agree one more time that the strength of the paper is the evidence.